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There's usually other terms in the fine print, by the way. No problem: they borrow money from the US government, and the government will seize customer savings accounts if the bank defaults. I'm being very rough here, but that's 0 billion in potential profits. Easy: they pay 3 to 6 cents for every dollar you borrowed. Maybe they give the collection agencies, on average, two cents. By the way, hedge funds analyze these collections of bad credit card debt like they would any other investment. It's "I will do X, and if I don't satisfy my responsibility, you can do Y". And this is how banks make money: the difference between that 20% (give or take) and 0%. There's about a trillion dollars in credit card debt out there. They have 100 Ph Ds who have already modeled out how many people will default. Why would a hedge fund buy your debt once you start to default? They outsource to either collection agencies or law firms in your local area to collect from you. In 1994, collection agencies would call me and I would get scared. I'd venture to say⎯barring a nasty diagnosis or a death in her immediate family⎯she wasn't attracted, even though she liked him. In other words, she was either avoiding an act of rejection, or she was using him for his brain. Now I was being tested on a subject I knew nothing about. If you don't want someone like me, please let your freak flag fly right away.

Now collection agencies start calling you day and night. Or if you answer the phone, record the conversation. So record the conversations and try to get them angry. They use fake names like "Dick Brockman" and they say things like "In five days we have to go to court and seize all of your assets." Again, in some states this is illegal to say. One thing you always have the right to do: Say, "Show me the proof I owe this money." Since the collection agencies got your name from a hedge fund that might have bought only part of your debt from another hedge fund, who knows where that original proof is?

This is all happening between three and 12 months after you stopped paying on your debt.

All of this is to say: your character creates your future.

) but he was convicted of bribing a company that made him millions of dollars.

He was reading a French-African play⎯upside down (meant as an obscure joke).

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Throughout our relationship, I've learned a lot about setting boundaries and being more verbal when it comes to my needs.

I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. If you answered yes to any of these, you might need a list of polite questions you can bring along on your dates.

Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary. Sometimes I'd get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. My opinion is this: If a same-sex couple is meeting for the first time, one of you should assume full financial responsibility. At first I thought we both had on the wrong outfits.

You signed a contract where everyone knew the risks.

That's where all the mansions come from while you were struggling to pay your mortgage. Or worry about killing yourself or feeding your kids. You weren't trying to be bad, but (as the banks already modeled) sometimes bad things happen to good people. I was also late on a state tax return (but not federal). Just those two things and because I have no credit cards (so no opportunities to show regular payments) my credit score fell from 780 to 580.

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